How Do I Tell My Dog I’m Sorry?
I have two rescue sighthounds who I love to the moon and back. The older one came from a very abusive situation and even after four years, he can be jumpy.
They’re loving, intelligent and quirky dogs but they’re also high-energy, given to stealing food from kitchen counters and chewing things when they’re bored. The older one can be reactive to other dogs too, so they can be hard work.
Yes, it’s my bad for leaving the food out or for not giving them enough mental stimulation but one day I snapped and yelled at the older one for a crime I can’t even remember now. I do still remember how awful I felt the instant I’d yelled at him though.
He backed away, ears flat, body in a really submissive posture. My first instinct was go to up to him and cuddle him and tell him how sorry I was. I think that’s just human nature. I didn’t.
If your behavior has resulted in your dog showing fear: backing away from you, dropping lower, flattening their ears, and/or showing the whites of their eyes, step back and put some space between you.
You can talk to them in a quiet, soothing voice, and apologize: doggy won’t understand your words, but it will do you good. Let your dog come back to you in their own time. When they do, be loving and calm.
If, on the other hand, your dog is still looking adoringly at you, a little loving and some gentle words are enough.
In both cases, you can use the words you use to reward them like “good boy”, “well done”, whatever words you use when you’re snuggling with your dogs on the couch. I call mine “my preciouses” and that often gets me a little loving lick.
Can You Hurt a Dog’s Feelings?
We often attribute human emotions to dogs, and we do share many in common – love, attachment, fear, anger, pain – but dogs don’t share the feelings that require higher cognitive ability like unfairness, jealousy, guilt, forgiveness.
You can’t exactly hurt a dog’s feelings but you can induce fear or anger in them, especially with repeatedly abusive behavior.
A one-time yelling will leave your dog momentarily confused but it passes quickly. Repeated yellings for the same “crime” will leave the dog nervous in that situation.
Random yellings where the dog can’t predict when they’re going to be yelled at, and that they can’t link with a specific behavior eventually creates a nervous, fearful or aggressive dog.
How Do I Get My Dog to Trust Me Again?
There are two important elements in getting your dog to trust you again: patience and consistent behavior.
If you’ve shouted at or hit your dog multiple times, the first thing you need to do is find a way to redirect your frustration so you can avoid the damaging behavior.
Your dog will need time to get used to not being yelled at/hit but each additional day of loving interaction with your dog will bring more trust between you.
It’s worth understanding why your dog is being “naughty”:
If you can address some of your dog’s unwanted behaviors, you’ll find it easier to be calm around them.
There is plenty of anecdotal evidence that says that dogs do learn to trust again. Even severely abused dogs like Vicktory dog Layla, rescued from a notorious dog fighting ring, can become loving, happy family members.
How To PUNISH A Dog | The Right and The GENTLE Way
Dogs are a man’s best friend. They give unconditional love, protect us from danger, and occasionally clean up our spilled food. But they also do bad things.
Maybe they pull all the toilet paper off the roll or track mud through the living room. They can try our patience.
Most people today make a conscious effort not to practice the same punishments on their pets they may have seen their parents or grandparents use. Once in a while, you might get so frustrated that you take a rolled-up newspaper and hit him on the backside. You could also swat his nose for trying to eat your food.