It may seem natural to hug and kiss your furry friend, but these gestures may actually feel threatening to some canines. Learn how to read his response to your affection, and show your love in a way he understands.
We adore our Irish setter, Coral. From the time we brought her home as a seven-week-old puppy, we’ve showered her with affection, giving her hundreds if not thousands of kisses on her head, paws, legs, body and ears. The only area we may have missed is her tail! In return, we’ve received as many, if not more, of what we call Coral Kisses – being licked on our hands, legs, feet and faces when we return home, when we wake up in the morning, and a host of other times.
Kissing vs. licking
Kissing and hugging are very important displays of affection among people, but clearly they are not in a dog’s behavioral repertoire. On the other hand, licking one another is important to dogs, but not something humans normally do! Because we love Coral so much, most of the time we don’t mind her licking. But depending on where, when, and for how long she chooses to deliver her licks to us, it can become annoying. In turn, we wonder if our kisses and hugs annoy her as well.
Some dogs just may not be affectionate kinds of dogs. To some dogs, especially rescued dogs who might have been abused or neglected, personal space is crucial. You can consult a vet or an experienced trainer for advice on how to deal with unaffectionate dogs. The important thing is to respect their space and not to threaten or scare them. Older dogs, especially those with illnesses or pain, may be less tolerant than they were at a younger age. Always watch your dog around small children, who may not know not to hug or kiss. Even without hugs and kisses, you can still show your love to your dog by playing, going fun places, and rewarding good behaviors with goodies and new toys.
Personal space is different among humans. It varies from person to person, but for the most part, everyone has an invisible boundary that they’d rather people not cross. For close friends and family members, that boundary is usually closer than for strangers. We have an unspoken rule about how close we can politely get to strangers. Dogs are the same way. Dogs don’t want strangers in their face. And sometimes, they even have a hard time tolerating family members who get too close. Some dogs don’t mind snuggles or kisses, but even that can become too much to a dog who values a little space.
As man’s (and woman’s) best friend, dogs offer us unconditional love, all for a little kibble and a place in your family. But affection between humans and pets can be complicated. It’s not possible for humans and their pets to bond the same way people do. A happy slurp is one of a dog’s only ways to show you their love. But humans have many ways to express affection: hugs, handholding, kisses, saying “I love you,” and more. But hugging and kissing your dog isn’t always appreciated. Some dogs don’t enjoy the affectionate attention. They may even growl or run away when you try to show them love. Why don’t dogs like kisses?
Dogs might lick each other to show their love, but licking them isn’t something humans should do (ick!). So how can you show your pet respectful affection? There are lots of ways you can show your dog you care. Take your dog places they enjoy. Spend lots of time playing, walking, going to the pet store, the park, the lake or river, or a ride in the car. In addition to the excellent exercise they’ll get, your dog will love spending time with you. When it’s cold or wet, make sure your dog still gets plenty of attention and playtime, too. Indoor games and toys are a great way to bond with your dog. In the evening, give your dog plenty of pets and scratches. They probably have a few spots they love being touched—behind the ears or under the collar are frequent favorites. Just be aware of their body language and stop if they’re uncomfortable or tense. Smaller dogs (and sometimes those not-so-small) may enjoy sitting or lying in your lap. Give them some attention and pets while they’re there, or just let them snooze in peace. Being close to you is as great a way as any to bond with your pup.
Pay attention to your dog’s body language when you lean in to give them a hug or a kiss. If it changes—they close their mouth, lick their lips, turn their head, tense up, stop wagging their tail, or their ears go back, they’re not enjoying the situation. Just like uncomfortable people, dogs will demonstrate that they don’t like what’s happening. It’s your job to pay attention and be respectful of their wishes. Never force an uncomfortable dog to endure close physical contact. Since they’re unable to tell you when enough is enough, they may react aggressively to make you stop.