Clubs Offering:
You feed your dog. You take them for a walk first thing in the morning and before you go to sleep each night. You’re responsible for grooming and taking them to the veterinarian for shots and check-ups. In fact, you can safely say that you are not just your dog’s primary caretaker, but also their trainer and disciplinarian. So why does it seem like they love your partner just a little bit — or maybe even a whole lot — more?
Sometimes, a seemingly unwarranted affection between a dog and a person is simply a meeting of the minds.
“Being mammals, dogs are born with temperaments,” says Dr. Joel Gavriele-Gold, licensed clinical psychologist and author of When Pets Come Between Partners: How to Keep Love and Romance in the Human-Animal Kingdom of Your House. “If a couple gets a dog, you may find that there’s a wired-in attraction to the one partner who has a similar temperament as the dog, whether that be laidback, hyper, or in-between.”
Dr. Gavriele-Gold notes that he’s seen this quite frequently. If you think about it, it’s no more or less unusual than a couple meeting, say, a yoga instructor. For instance, one partner may click with their character and turn into a devotee. The other, conversely, may feel more ambivalent and stop going to class. This is not a cause for jealousy, Dr. Gavriele-Gold says.
“Jealousy is about wishing for control over another person,” he insists.
Instead, be grateful that you found a dog that meshes so well with at least one of you. Look for ways to participate or engage by examining your own attributes honestly.
“Dogs are smart,” says Dr. Gavriele-Gold. “The more I tune in to some of the scientific findings, the more incredible I find it.”
Indeed, your canine has a clear sense of good cop and bad cop. Dogs can learn who’s the dutiful parent who says “no” for their own good, and who’s the fun one who lets them break the rules. There’s a good chance your pup will want to snuggle up to the one who allows them to jump on the soft, warm couch, rather than the one who makes them lie down on the vet’s cold table. Like children, dogs are manipulative in this way. Sometimes, they make you feel like they’re punishing you for your influence over their lives, by preferring someone else.
As with children, don’t let this little game bother you. Win the dog over with the three A’s: affection, attention, and positive associations. Create special moments through things like playtime, massages, and treats.
Dogs are not only intelligent beings, they’re emotional ones as well. Because they experience happiness and sadness, they also have empathy. It also means a dog’s allegiance can change over time. If a couple separates, Dr. Gavriele-Gold affirms, the dog could wind up picking sides.
“They’re both cute and astute,” says Dr. Gavriele-Gold. “They operate on what’s going on in the atmosphere and inside of us. When one person falls out of love, the dog feels the difference and picks up on it. It might move closer to the person leaving, or stay with the person being left.”
The problem here, of course, is that couples may fight in court for custody over a dog based on its perceived preference. Since dogs can and do change loyalties, even if it’s not always immediately, judges usually rule for familiarity. This often involves leaving the dog where it has lived or been raised, rather than taking it out of a comfortable environment.
In some cases, both partners in a couple walk and feed the dog equally, yet the dog still prefers one partner over the other. Often, this is simply a case of access, or lack of it. If one person spends more time at home with the dog, naturally the dog will want to see and spend time with the other partner, too.
When the absent partner rewards that behavior by handing out treats upon return, reinforcement and hardwiring occurs. Still, warns Dr. Gavriele-Gold, don’t confuse a delighted “welcome home!” routine with true preference.
Finally, dogs have notoriously good senses of smell. They can and do develop antipathies to people based on their odors. Dr. Gavriele-Gold says that he has patients who have particular, adverse aromas – sweat, alcohol, and other unsavory scents – that his own Bouviers react to negatively. So, it’s possible that a family dog could develop an aversion to one partner based on an unpleasant odor.
On the other hand, a partner who smells delightful to a dog — whether it’s because of pheromones, food, or other animals — has an excellent chance of being loved unconditionally. But, you don’t have to wear hamburger perfume just to get the dog on your good side. The fragrance of fond friendliness usually does the trick.
‘No Bones About It’ is a monthly relationship column about the ways dogs impact human connections. Dr. Gavriele-Gold’s latest book on dog-human relationships, When Pets Come Between Partners, is now available on Amazon. He also hosts a monthly “Comfort Conversation” on grief on the AKC Pet Loss Support Group on Facebook. https://www.akc.org/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php Get Your Free AKC eBook
Why does my dog prefer my boyfriend?
Below are some possible reasons your dog is more suited to you than your friend and what makes your dog more likely.
Do dogs know when you are sad?
Previous research has shown that when humans cry, their dogs also feel distress. Now, the new study finds that dogs not only feel distress when they see that their owners are sad but will also try to do something to help. The findings were published today (July 24) in the journal Learning and Behavior.
When your dog loves your boyfriend more than you
You take good care of your dog. You feed her, bathe her, walk her, and make sure she has everything she needs to live the good life. So why does your dog cuddle with everyone but you? There are many possible reasons that youre not her favorite, and none of them are personal.
Dogs associate people with the things they bring to the table in the relationship. Food is, of course, a highly valued resource. As such, many dogs bond with the person who feeds them and generally takes care of them. Not all dogs value everything the same, however.
Some dogs absolutely love toys and bond with the person who most often plays with them or brings them new things to play with. Other dogs crave attention and bond with the person who pets them and gushes over them the most. If your dog is attached to someone else, that person may simply offer a benefit that the dog highly values.
While dogs bond when they make positive associations, negative associations also occur. If youre the one constantly telling the dog to get off the couch, for instance, he may associate you with trouble and gravitate towards those who invite him up for a snuggle.
The associations your dog makes with you and your family members matter, but so do associations she may have made before she met you. The best time to socialize puppies is between birth and six months of age. Experiences during this time in the puppys life can have a lifelong impact.
Dogs who spend a lot of time with women during this important time, for instance, may always prefer women to men. If a person in a baseball hat frightens the puppy during this time, he may always fear people in hats. This means that if your dog bonds more closely with someone else rather than you, its possibly due to experiences he had early on in his life that have nothing to do with you.
Humans have an impressive 5 million nerve cells in our noses to pick up and process scents, but dogs have up to an astounding 300 million. Clearly, this enables dogs to pick up on subtle scents that no human will ever smell. Even though you smell just fine other people, your dog may prefer someone elses scent over yours.
Aside from lining your pockets with bacon, you probably cant do much to make yourself smell more appealing to your dog. Try not to take it personally if your dog would rather sniff someone elses butt.
Just like people, dogs all have their own unique personalities. How well you and your dog bond may depend on how similar your personalities are or arent. Shy, quiet dogs are more likely to bond with a calm person rather than someone who is always on the move. Conversely, active and outgoing dogs may prefer an energetic person whos always up for a game of fetch or a hike in the woods.