“A confident dog behaves like Kyle.”
Dr. Ian Dunbar, who is the best-known dog behaviorist on the planet, said something that is 100% true about confident dogs at one of his seminars I attended. He said, “You will never be able to find the most confident dog on earth; its really impossible.”
What did he mean? Let me explain.
Most people think that a dog who acts aggressively toward humans and other dogs must be a confident, self-assured and assertive dog. People who own human aggressive dogs frequently think their dog is protecting them when they are acting aggressively to strangers. These assumptions would appear to be reasonable; however, the exact opposite is true.
With some exceptions, dogs who act aggressively toward humans and other dogs are actually fearful of those humans and dogs. They are attempting to create distance between them and the scary thing; the aggressive dog is only thinking of their own well-being. Distance equals safety in the canine world.
Then why do these dogs act in a non-aggressive manner with their dog and human family members? Because they dont fear them. For more information about aggressive dogs and family members, see Why is my Sweet Dog so Aggressive to People Outside of Our Family?
This phenomenon of fear aggression from dogs is not unlike human aggression toward other humans.
Humans can use aggression to bully and control people they fear. Few people think that individuals who use aggression toward other humans are self-assured people.
In contrast, a confident dog may show different body language. He may have his tail level or in the air, with a relaxed body. His ears may be alert, but not stiffly pinned back or forward. He may have his mouth hang open loosely, rather than in a tight grin or growl. Confident, happy dogs tend to have loose and wiggly bodies.
Whether your dog is shy around new people, fearful of the vet, or just needs some extra help; time, training, and patience are beneficial. Even a nervous dog can become a more confident dog with the right tools and techniques. If you are unsure of where to start, speaking with your trainer about public or private classes is best. Many even often classes specifically designed for confidence building.
Body language is key to identifying if your dog may be nervous. A nervous dog may show several signs. This includes a stiff body, raised hackles on the back or his tail held low. You may see his ears pinned back or pricked stiffly forward. He may show the whites of his eyes or bare his teeth in a “C” shape, pant heavily, or even give a low growl. These are all signs your dog is not comfortable with the situation.
Some dogs may benefit from a structured training class. This is a great way to boost the confidence of nervous dogs by giving them a positive, structured environment to interact in. You can also use training as a way to set rules that can help your dog learn routines and be less fearful.
Is your dog the nervous sort? Perhaps he doesn’t get along well with other dogs, or he cowers and pees when new people come over. Maybe he hides at the vet. Even a nervous dog can become a more confident dog with a little time, training, patience, and love.
Signs a Dog Can be Confident
Your friend Suzy has a confident Collie and it has always struck you how alike they are. Suzy loves her life and Rex, her Collie, emits the same upbeat vibe. Together, they shine a light of positivity that beams wherever they go. Rex certainly has the life of Riley, but Suzy obtained him from a respected breeder who socializes their puppies knowing the importance of good genes and a non-stress early environment
Rex is the consummate cruiser and is a joy to be around. He greets you with tail wagging and a wiggling backside plus a super-smiley face where his teeth are exposed but there is no threat. Watching Rex hanging out with other dogs is a treat, as he play-bows with mouth open and tongue rolling from side to side.
If confronted by a mutt with lesser self-esteem, Rex will try to appease the other dog by averting his eyes, nose licking, or make a bee-line for his owner sitting on the park bench. Bored with the Retriever’s nonchalant stance, this bully boy will target a nervous pup, their submissive body language an invitation to be intimidated.
This anxious soul will yawn as a clear indication they are stressed. Their furrowed brow and constant lip licking are signs of fear as they start to shake knowing this guy means business. They’ll turn their head away showing the whites of their eyes, whiskers twitching and tail hung low.
Signs a dog can feel confidence include:
Signs a dog is not confident are:
It’s hard to imagine a planet where early man lived alongside wild animals, often hunting for the same prey. Times were tough as humans had a lot to contend with and their weapons were often no match for the mammoth, megalania lizard, and scary-looking ground sloths.
Back then, humans had their work cut out just staying alive and most of the time they must have felt out-numbered. Looks like the local wolves did early-man a favor when they scavenged for food around their campfires. As two very different species converged, evolution got a major wake-up call and taking the best attributes of the wolf created the cool dogs we know today.
Wolves are confident creatures that live in packs and work supremely well together raising their kids and bringing food to the table. Dogs, on the other hand, are generally reliant on us so they can be a stylish representation of a person with high self-esteem or a submissive, scared pup at the hands of a lowly human being. We make our dogs confident – or not.
As our companions, we have molded their characters with some dogs bred for working, friendship, and alas, fighting. In the right hands, a dog will show prowess in the show ring, agility trials, or as a police K9 – respected by all. In the wrong hands, they can be timid or aggressive. This is why the laws need to catch up as we created this species and are responsible for how they walk in this world.
Confident dog vs submissive dog. Which is better?
A confident dog is a dog who is sound in mind and never asserts himself unless he’s being threatened.
Raising a puppy takes time, energy and patience. Early puppy socialization is your first step in building confidence. Yet, there is a proper way to do so that will foster healthy relationships with people, other dogs and animals and their environment.
Let’s talk about a Service Dog for a moment. One of the most important distinctions between a Service Dog and your dog is that the pup was taken into many different kinds of situations, environments, trained in obedience and properly socialized early with people, friendly dogs/puppies, other species and handled properly from the time the pup was 8 wks old until the pup turned between 2-3 years of age which is the age of maturity for dogs. The first 2 years of a puppy’s life are the years in which we as puppy owners can build and instill confidence in our babies. Just because you’re not raising a Service Dog doesn’t mean that your puppy doesn’t need early socialization. All puppies benefit from this. Not doing so can be detrimental.
In fact, the number one reason dogs are relinquished is because of bad behavior. Bad behavior stems from a lack of training and early socialization in the pups first year. When pups hit adolescence without early socialization they can become rowdy and out of control; hence owners getting fed up, giving up on their pup. People forget puppy behavior is normal. It’s not the pups fault, it’s the lack of awareness and education for new puppy owners in how to raise pups so that you can sail through adolescence and keep your beloved friend, which is why you got the puppy in the first place.
Taking your pup to puppy class at 6 months of age and then thinking you’re done is the biggest mistake most puppy owners make. Training a pup for her first 2 years consistently, patiently and diligently is what makes a puppy grow up to be a well-adjusted thriving adult dog. In fact, veterinarians are now on board that it is indeed critical that puppies are properly socialized beginning at 8 wks of age. The American Animal Hospital Association has clearly defined new guidelines for veterinarians to follow for puppies stating the importance of early socialization, not waiting until the puppy is fully vaccinated.
It’s also fun to get creative with training these first two years when everything is so new and exciting. If you want the dog that can go anywhere, be with everyone, likes all dogs, cats, kids, cars, horses, sits quietly while you eat and have guests, you’ve gotta put the time in.
Learn how to read dog body language so you will know when you need to intervene, do more training/exposure and when to stop or take a step back, if you see your pup is too cautious or over excited. Get the Dog Decoder app to help you help your pup. It’s available in iTunes and Google play.
Do all of this until the dog hits her age of maturity and you’ll have one of the happiest and most confident dogs you’ve ever enjoyed.