Maybe it’s your dog that is behaving badly that is causing the rift. Tearing up furniture and causing a ruckus inside can wear on your nerves, or if your dog is a digger; digging up the once beautiful landscape or even escaping for an afternoon rendezvous throughout the neighborhood. If the spouse who isn’t completely sold on the dog is always cleaning up the mess made, you can be sure there will be some pent-up frustration.
However, if the issue lies with how much time you spend with Fido over your spouse, start refocusing your attention with a healthy balance between Fido and your spouse. For starters, give Fido somewhere to sleep other than the bed you share with your spouse. If you find yourself still yearning to spend more quality time with your dog instead of your spouse, you may have underlying issues with your spouse that aren’t related to the dog at all. You may want to enlist the help of a certified relationship counselor to figure out what those issues may be and if the relationship is worth saving.
There’s snuggle time while watching TV, long walks and cuddling at night that should keep you two close together, except if you’re doing it all with a dog in-between the two of you. If you find you are spending more quality time with Fido than your spouse – this could be a big problem, especially if intimacy has dwindled between you and your spouse, or you find that you’re never truly alone during intimate moments you may want to re-evaluate your priorities on who you really want to spend time with.
Is your dog coming between you and your spouse? How are you going to handle it? Share in the comments below.
It sounds terrible to say, but man’s best friend could become a marriage’s worst nightmare if the two of you aren’t on the same page when it comes to Fido. If you’re not at a splitting point but feel an awkwardness looming between you and your spouse and know that your dog is a sore subject, take a look at why that may be.
Your dog sleeps with you in bed
Going to bed with your loved one is one of those moments when you can finally have some peace and quiet after a long day at work and cuddle up together. Often it is the only part of the day couples manage to fit in some intimacy time, especially those with small children.
Can pets ruin your relationship in such a scenario?
If your dog sleeps with you in bed and doesn’t let you spoon with your other half chances are your dog is ruining your relationship. While having a dog sleep beside you might be a very cute thing at first, after a while, you will realize that your dog’s sleeping habits might be creating an emotional distance between you and your partner.
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From VOA Learning English, this is the Health & Lifestyle report.
In the United States, the law views domestic animals, or pets, as property when married people legally separate.
Now, American courts are seeing new ways of deciding custody of the family pet. Special negotiators are being employed to argue for pet “parents.” Some couples are even signing contracts before they marry about pet ownership if the marriage ends. These so-called “petnups” are designed to avoid possible courtroom disputes in the future.
Petnup is a play on the word “prenup.” Prenup is short for “prenuptial,” a contract that some couples seek before marriage. Prenups usually deal with property rights.
Several pet owners and lawyers recently talked to the Associated Press.
In some U.S. states laws permit judges to decide pet custody based on the best interest of the animal under consideration.
New York lawmakers are considering such a bill. New York State Senator James Skoufis is the main supporter of the New York measure. He also has a cat named Ruth, for the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Skoufis spoke to the Associated Press about the proposed legislation.
“Someone’s cat or someone’s dog is a part of their family and should not be treated like a piece of furniture…,” he said.
Adam Citron is a New York divorce lawyer. He says pet custody is always a difficult issue. So, he supports prenups that include pets. A petnup can be especially helpful when people get animals during the marriage.
He added that pet custody is far more emotional and difficult to settle than ownership over a set of dishes or a car. In states without these laws, Citron suggests this: Before a couple gets an animal, they should decide whose name will appear alone on registration or ownership papers. That person should pay any costs linked to the pet with their own money.
Some negotiators say they work to solve pet disputes through shared custody. Others say that that is not always best for the animal, especially dogs. Dogs are most often at the center of pet custody disputes.
Miles Mason Sr. is a divorce lawyer in Memphis, Tennessee. He told the AP about one couple’s especially heated pet custody battle. He said the wife and husband fought about their two German shepherd dogs. The wife had taken training to better control the large dogs. The husband had not. Before the divorce, the husband lost control of one of their dogs while on a walk. It attacked and killed another dog. The wife argued later that the husband should not get custody of their dogs because he could not control them.
When the couple separated, the husband wanted to visit their dogs. A judge agreed, but said the visits must be supervised and take place at the wife’s home. However, the judge said he could reconsider the decision if the man sought training on how to control German shepherds.
“We believe the judge had experience with German shepherds because he understood the concerns with highly trained and disciplined dogs,” the lawyer said.
Karis Nafte has studied animal behavior for nearly 26 years. Two years ago, she started working as a pet custody specialist for people seeking divorces.
“Part of what I try to help people understand,” she said, “is that even if a dog feels like a child in your heart, it isn’t…”
In fact, treating your pet like a child could do harm to the animal. Visitation schedules or shared custody, Nafte said, can be far harder on a dog than a permanent separation. A dog moving between two homes on a usual basis, she said, can lead to behavioral problems.
She added that expert advice can help. “A lot of times,” she said, “people just don’t know what to do. They just don’t want to say goodbye to their dog.”
Nafte suggested putting pet custody at the top of divorce negotiations. It can make the rest of the process run more smoothly.
Mental health workers can help couples too.
Marriage expert Sharon O’Neill has helped couples through divorce in New York’s Westchester County for more than 20 years. In one case, during a discussion with a couple, a wife demanded that she must keep the dog. However, her husband did not believe she cared enough to take responsibility for the animal.
“In working with her alone, I came to understand that it had more to do with hurting her husband because she truly believed he loved the dog more than he had ever been capable of loving her,” O’Neill said.
The mental health adviser said the couple was able to get to the truth through talking. They agreed that he would get the dog and she would get a set of furniture.
And that’s the Health & Lifestyle report. I’m Anna Matteo. And Im Caty Weaver.
Leanne Italie reported this story for the Associated Press. Anna Matteo adapted it for VOA Learning English. Caty Weaver was the editor.
This Dog Is Ruining This Marriage! (Cesar911 Shorts)
In the United States, the law views domestic animals, or pets, as property when married people legally separate.
Now, American courts are seeing new ways of deciding custody of the family pet. Special negotiators are being employed to argue for pet “parents.” Some couples are even signing contracts before they marry about pet ownership if the marriage ends. These so-called “petnups” are designed to avoid possible courtroom disputes in the future.
Petnup is a play on the word “prenup.” Prenup is short for “prenuptial,” a contract that some couples seek before marriage. Prenups usually deal with property rights.
In some U.S. states laws permit judges to decide pet custody based on the best interest of the animal under consideration.
New York lawmakers are considering such a bill. New York State Senator James Skoufis is the main supporter of the New York measure. He also has a cat named Ruth, for the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
“Someone’s cat or someone’s dog is a part of their family and should not be treated like a piece of furniture…,” he said.
Adam Citron is a New York divorce lawyer. He says pet custody is always a difficult issue. So, he supports prenups that include pets. A petnup can be especially helpful when people get animals during the marriage.
He added that pet custody is far more emotional and difficult to settle than ownership over a set of dishes or a car. In states without these laws, Citron suggests this: Before a couple gets an animal, they should decide whose name will appear alone on registration or ownership papers. That person should pay any costs linked to the pet with their own money.
Some negotiators say they work to solve pet disputes through shared custody. Others say that that is not always best for the animal, especially dogs. Dogs are most often at the center of pet custody disputes.
Miles Mason Sr. is a divorce lawyer in Memphis, Tennessee. He told the AP about one couple’s especially heated pet custody battle. He said the wife and husband fought about their two German shepherd dogs. The wife had taken training to better control the large dogs. The husband had not. Before the divorce, the husband lost control of one of their dogs while on a walk. It attacked and killed another dog. The wife argued later that the husband should not get custody of their dogs because he could not control them.
When the couple separated, the husband wanted to visit their dogs. A judge agreed, but said the visits must be supervised and take place at the wife’s home. However, the judge said he could reconsider the decision if the man sought training on how to control German shepherds.
“We believe the judge had experience with German shepherds because he understood the concerns with highly trained and disciplined dogs,” the lawyer said.
Karis Nafte has studied animal behavior for nearly 26 years. Two years ago, she started working as a pet custody specialist for people seeking divorces.
“Part of what I try to help people understand,” she said, “is that even if a dog feels like a child in your heart, it isn’t…”
In fact, treating your pet like a child could do harm to the animal. Visitation schedules or shared custody, Nafte said, can be far harder on a dog than a permanent separation. A dog moving between two homes on a usual basis, she said, can lead to behavioral problems.
She added that expert advice can help. “A lot of times,” she said, “people just don’t know what to do. They just don’t want to say goodbye to their dog.”
Nafte suggested putting pet custody at the top of divorce negotiations. It can make the rest of the process run more smoothly.
Marriage expert Sharon O’Neill has helped couples through divorce in New York’s Westchester County for more than 20 years. In one case, during a discussion with a couple, a wife demanded that she must keep the dog. However, her husband did not believe she cared enough to take responsibility for the animal.
“In working with her alone, I came to understand that it had more to do with hurting her husband because she truly believed he loved the dog more than he had ever been capable of loving her,” O’Neill said.
The mental health adviser said the couple was able to get to the truth through talking. They agreed that he would get the dog and she would get a set of furniture.
Leanne Italie reported this story for the Associated Press. Anna Matteo adapted it for VOA Learning English. Caty Weaver was the editor.