Yes, we should use positive reinforcement whenever possible and appropriate, of course, but certainly not exclusively. (Can you say no without causing fear, pain or intimidation? Of course! It is the way it is done. You say no to your kids don’t you? Are they traumatised because you set boundaries? Of course not. We say “no” because we love them!) Would you allow your children to be aggressive to other kids or to ignore rules on the basis that if they get told “no” they might become scared or aggressive? Boundaries and consequences are a healthy and normal part of life and learning to fit successfully into society. Saying no to a dog is necessary in a lot of situations as a way of providing valuable feedback to the dog (whether it is their best interests to repeat the behaviour). Not doing so can sometimes be confusing and counterproductive.
We are hearing from many of our clients that that they were told in puppy classes that they are not allowed to say “no” to their dogs. By the time we get to these poor clients their dogs are out of control and often display ADHD symptoms. These owners are offered no way to stop unwanted behaviour other than to ignore it.
Many are even told that their dog may need to be medicated. The advice they were given is clearly not working for them but they have nothing else. They are not allowed to say no to their dog. We believe that this advice is both disempowering and ridiculous. It may be philosophically nice but It shows a lack of understanding of dog behaviour, communication and interaction.
In our view, as a loving guardian. saying “no” to your dog or puppy for unwanted behaviour when necessary is both healthy and beneficial to both you and your dog. Next time someone in the pet industry offers you any advice please remember to make sure it sits right with you and trust your own inner guidance and intuition. If it doesn’t feel right it is not for you. There is a lot of questionable advice being circulated around in this industry at the moment.
Your dog needs a balance of negative and positive consequences to understand the behaviour you want. As a dog trainer, I like to think of it as a framework we set up so they can negotiate. Nature is always in balance. Nowhere is the natural world does ‘positive only’ exist. This is just how things work. Mammals learn principally by copying and much of the behaviour needed to survive and thrive is taught. This feedback is unquestionably not all positive in the dog’s natural environment, so why should it be with us? Have you ever seen a dog growl at another dog over a bone? Or snap when it wants to be left alone? Either dog takes no offence and it is understood immediately. There are no treats being handed out and no “hope I didn’t offend you earlier”. This is because it was never done to offend nor does it come from ego. It is just business to the dog and a very effective and efficient use of energy. It is very confusing to the dog when humans avoid any confrontation or challenge when they crave clarity and security.
The reason so many dogs are displaying ADHD symptoms is that they have not been challenged for being in an over-exited or over-simulated state. These dogs are wired and find it hard to stay calm. They find it hard to switch brain states and are stuck in an active state that needs constant stimulation and attention. It is our responsibility as loving guardians to help our dog to stay in a predominantly calm or passive state of mind and not get stuck in this active state. If we observe a group of dogs, we will see this is what nature does. When a weaker energy dogs gets over-exited or anxious the stronger energy will challenge it to bring it back to balance. The being that oscillates at a higher frequency is always calm and wants the pack to stay at the same frequency.
Why You Won’t Miss “No” …I Promise.
Get ready to say goodbye to these annoying side effects that often accompany use of the word, “no.”
You’ll no longer:
The Beginning: Looking for a New Puppy
When you first start thinking about getting a new dog, you often think of the kid’s benefits first. Many kids love to play with dogs and have a special connection with them. So, do your best to involve your child in the process of looking for a new puppy, whether it’s online or in person.
When searching, keep in mind the needs of you and your family. It may be beneficial to pick out a few options and begin your research on the breed’s personality or how well they interact with children in general.
A dog may catch their eye that they wish they could take with them to their new home, so research the background of your preferred breeds before going to visit.
After all, you want everyone in the family to be happy and fulfilling the kid’s wish to adopt a certain dog breed can make them feel very special.
Before meeting your new friend, make sure you have house rules established that every member of the family understands. Just as you will train your dog, you should teach your child the rules of having a new dog in the house.
Be sure to discuss other kid topics, like needing to be careful, no teasing, and how to respect the family pet.
The EASIEST Way to Get Your Dog to Understand You! (How to teach your dog words and phrases now!)
Kids and puppies have lots in common: They’re inquisitive, impatient, and easily excited! This is why it’s important to carefully supervise first encounters between a new puppy and your children. The rewards can be wonderful — a truly close bond and a lifelong love of dogs. But, if you don’t take precautions, a few mistakes could lead to a much less happy ending.