Why Wont My Dog Just Lay Down?!? Teaching Through Stress
Having two dogs (Golden Retrievers) that are 13 years old has spoiled me. They couldn&r squo;t care less about going out to pee all the time. As theyve gotten older and I have to coax them to exercise with me, if Im feeling lazy that day and want to cut corners or cut it short, they fully support the decision. The boy one (Eeyore), no longer has the motivation (or dexterity) to get up on the counters and steal loaves of bread, ketchup packets, food wrappers or any of the countless items his sister (Ruhni) has talked him into pulling down for her. And most importantly – they are super chill when we just hang out at home.
But, here’s the thing – I have recently started a new relationship, and that relationship comes with a new addition to our little pack. Our new addition is Zoey, a 1.5 year old Boxer/American Bulldog mix. She is a sweet, squishy faced, brindle brick of love. We did proper dog-to-dog introductions, of course, so that wasnt going to be an issue. Our only issue was Eeyore and food, which we worked on and improved. So, if shes so great, what’s the issue you ask? Well, the first night she came over to my house, she spent the WHOLE night pacing, walking circles around the couch, walking from room to room, and never just laying down and relaxing for more than a minute or two. Prompting the question, “Why wont my dog just lay down?!?” So, I slipped into dog trainer mode and discussed what was going on and how to improve the behavior.
It’s all quite easy, so I figured Id share that with everyone else too.
First, let’s look at the “Why”. That is an exceptionally simple answer – stress. Just like some of us, when we go somewhere new and dont really know where we are at, what we are supposed to do, and where “our area” is, we get stressed. Stress is not always necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes the behaviors that we see in dogs can become quite annoying (like making 700 laps pacing around the couch).
So, how do dogs show stress? Stress behaviors in dogs (and people too) can be classified as positive stressors and negative stressors. Amusingly, my two dogs, even though theyre brother and sister, are one of each. Ruhni, being a negative stressor, immediately went to her quiet place in the house when Zoey came over and avoided her until snacks and walking times. Negative stressors shut down to avoid problems. Positive stressors (like Eeyore and Zoey) energize. Energizing is great when youre going in the dog show ring, not so great when youre trying to watch a movie!
At this point you must be wondering how do I help “fix it”? The snarky answer is “alleviate the stress”, but that’s pretty darn useless because it’s usually not really possible. (But hey, first and foremost, if you can remove the stressor easily, do that first!) So then, the fix is to treat the symptoms.
Now, the goal is to show them what you want. And thankfully as you teach them, it also has the benefit of stopping the annoying stress signs while also diminishing their actual stress level. So, I gave Zoey a couple of hours to acclimate and naturally relax. Of course, she did not calm down. Her mom had reached the end of her patience with the behavior as well, so I slipped into dog trainer mode. I broke out my trusty collar and leash and put her on a Settle Down. Done. Problem solved, sort of. This one exercise is literally the catalyst for everything else I am going to ask this dog to do, forever. This is the first exercise we do with EVERY dog we get in for training. It sets a standard that we are the bigger dog and that we expect the other dog to chill.
If you dont know what Settle Down is, check out the podcast on the Respect Series (not to mention its covered in ALL of our classes online). But, here is a quick refresher: it is simply putting your foot on the dog’s leash at a distance where they cannot walk away or jump on you. Its not so tight that it is forcing them to the ground, but there should be enough tension so that lying down is the best choice. Oh, and please note – if your dog is REALLY franticly stressed, trying desperately to pull away, or freaking out, loosen up on the leash a lot. You dont want to cause a panicked, trapped sensation in an already stressed dog.
So, Settle Down is the key. Simple and easy. But, let me share some Pro Tips I used to speed up the process.
#1: Since my goal is to TEACH her to relax and lay around, this requires letting her make choices and mistakes. Always remember that mistakes give you an opportunity to show your dog exactly what you want, so if they get up 100 times, that gives you 101 opportunities to teach them. I promise you it is the dogs that make mistakes, and get corrected that end up learning what we want faster.
#2: I use Settle Down for limited times. 3 minutes, then I take my foot off the leash and QUIETLY tell her “Its okay” to “release her” while I hoped she would stay lying down. She didnt, so I let her pace for 20 minutes or so, then back to Settle Down for 5 minutes this time. Then I repeated the same release sequence. Eventually, she kept lying there after I released her! Success.
#3: You are training a stressed dog. Which means learning is greatly reduced and likelihood of mistakes is high. Be gentle and understanding. Think about it this way – if someone tried to teach you something or correct your behavior while taking your driving test at 16, you may have had a meltdown. Same for a stressed dog!
#4: All dogs will learn this at a different pace. Just be patient. Soon you can add the command “Settle Down”, and just use that as a directed command when they start pacing.
Is life with a new puppy perfect after all this? Nope. She still paces and gets into things, but shes a baby. That’s what they do. Its unfair to judge my 1.5 year old dog based on my 13 year old dogs. Heck, I’m pretty sure Eeyore was about 30x worse. He resented “Settle Down” so much that he would lie down to where he was pulling on the leash as hard as possible against my foot. So from nearly day one I had to do unrestrained Settle Down with him as a puppy. But, he showed me clearly he is the kind of dog who would most benefit from that exercise. And after spending all the extra time and effort working on it, he quickly turned into a dog I can trust in any situation to listen to me (well, as long as I keep up doing Settle Down with him, otherwise he gets a little hard of hearing…)
I hope this sheds some light on how to recognize this issue, as well as how to improve it. If you have any questions, please ask, we’re always here to help!
And check out these additional resources:
Podcasts:
Respect Series-Settle Down (All of them really)
Getting a Second Dog (Proper Dog Introductions)
How do I teach my dog to “settle” in a down position?
Impulse Control – teaching your dog to relax
How many of you with high energy dogs would like time to cook dinner, talk on the phone, or look through the mail … without Rowdy Rover jumping on you, or even worse, ripping up pillows to get your attention?
Although some dogs are more high energy than others (think adolescent dogs), it’s good for all dogs to learn how to calm themselves. It may surprise you to know that calming behavior can be taught. In fact, there are so many ways to teach calming behavior that it’s hard to know where to start.
One good place would be arousal. Without realizing it, we enable our dog’s hyperactive lifestyle. For example, our dogs bark out the windows, fence fight, and go to dog parks. The chemicals released during arousal stay in our dog’s system for up to twenty-four hours. Then, we wonder why our dogs can’t calm down.
Here are a few ideas. For dogs that bark at everything that moves outside the house, you can use baby gates to keep the dog out of that room with the big picture window, close the blinds, or put up a Decorative Arts window film (sold at Home Depot or Lowe’s) that lets you, but not your dog, see out.
If you know that there are certain times when your dog is aroused –when the bus drops off kids after school or the trash trucks make their rounds –you can also put on classical music or a white noise machine to block out some of the commotion.
Instead of going to dog parks, play fetch or tug or set up a playdate with one compatible “friend”. Look at our handout on dog parks for some options
Now, back to helping your dog learn calming behaviors.
Default behaviors are what your dog does when he isn’t sure what else to do. To teach a default behavior, like sit or down, have pea-sized treats at home in your pocket or treat bag or stashed around the house. Whenever you see your dog do something you like (let’s say sit), out come the treats. Remember that you aren’t cueing your dog to sit. You are rewarding a behavior that your dog does on his own.
Your dog will start sitting a lot because he has been rewarded for doing it. At that point, the treats can become random, and, once it’s clear that sit is your dog’s default behavior, you can start replacing the food reward with a belly rub or toy.
What’s so great about sit as a default behavior? Think about it: How often have you seen a dog “over the top” while sitting? Sit is what we call an “incompatible” behavior, and it’s the first step toward relaxation.
Yes, dogs need exercise, and we don’t mean that walk at your turtle pace. However, too much arousal, without breaks, is asking for trouble. It’s great if your dog can romp with a friend in your yard, play fetch (even down the stairs), chase bubbles, play tug, or get through your home-made obstacle course. Don’t forget, though, to stop the fun and take frequent breaks.
This not only tamps down your dog’s state of arousal, it also teaches your pup to transition from excitement to calm. After a break, let your dog play some more, so that he is more likely to accept later breaks without complaint.
What you don’t want to do is to call him away from playtime, if your dog is too distracted to listen. After you have a 100% reliable recall inside, then in a quiet environment, your dog will be more likely to come to you – especially if he has learned from experience that coming to you doesn’t always mean the end of fun. Until then, go get him.
If you haven’t used a clicker, you should try it. Here’s why: When your dog is being rowdy, it’s so much easier to click a second of calm, followed in a few seconds by a treat, than to catch your dog’s moment of quiet without a clicker. By the time you give your dog a treat, without the click first, your dog may be wound up again and think that he is being rewarded for his crazy behavior. It’s just hard to get the timing right.
How do you get started? Click/treat, click/treat ten times until it’s clear that your dog understands that the click means a treat is coming. Your dog doesn’t have to do anything while you teach him what the clicker is. After that, you can use the clicker to identify either a skill or a behavior that you want. For example, if you are teaching sit, you click when your dog’s butt hits the ground … followed by the treat. When you want your dog to stop jumping, you click the moment your dog has all four feet on the floor… followed by the treat. I’m sure you have heard a million times that dogs repeat behaviors that are rewarded. Guess what? It’s true.
I-clicks are easier and quieter than box clickers. However, if you have trouble with the clicker or if your dog is afraid of the sound, you can use a word, like “YES”, or click with your mouth. When you read “clicker” in this handout, you can substitute either of these. Please give the clicker a chance, though.
For those of you worried about your dog only behaving with food around – You are using the clicker and treats to teach a behavior. Once your dog knows what you want, you can make the rewards random, and then replace the food with praise or petting. However, when you are in a particularly distracting environment, like a public event or family picnic, you may need to crack out those special treats again. Two other cautions: Don’t stop using the clicker too soon. And when you move away from food, make sure that your praise is in a soft voice and that your petting is slow and gentle.
Why Won’t My Dog Won’t Sit Still? – Dog Training with Leah
There might be times where your dog is pacing and won’t lay down, and this can be a cause for concern among dog owners. There are several different reasons for this behavior with most of the causes being anxiety or stress related issues. It’s important that you figure out the reason for this pacing so that your dog can relax and finally lay down.