A Quick Note About Remaining Calm
When it comes to helping a fearful dog it’s important to keep your own behaviors in mind. While you won’t reinforce fear by remaining calm & providing comfort to your dog, you can make things worse by being nervous yourself.
If you yourself panic when you meet a new dog your dog will pick up on it. Your emotional state can effect your dog. If you’re scooping your dog up every time they meet a new dog they may start to assume that “hey there is something to be scared of,” and they may begin to act more defensively when a new dog approaches.
For long term solutions you’re going to need to address the fear itself and come up with a way to help your dog through it. The fear isn’t going to get better by just ignoring it, and it can often get much worse.
If you find yourself in a situation where both you & your dog are fearful the best solution may be to just walk away. If you can’t control what’s happening and you’re unable to turn the situation into a positive experience sometimes leaving is the best solution. It’s certainly not easy to do, and it can feel like a failure. But knowing when to say “this isn’t working” can help get you out of a situation before it incites even more fear.
As with managing fear in any aspect of life it’s a judgment call, and there isn’t always going to be a simple solution.
A common way to help fearful dogs is by using counter conditioning. It’s the process of changing a negative emotional response into a positive one, and it works well for many fears. It’s not a quick process, but to truly help with fear you should be trying to think of ways to help your dog start to see those scary things as not so scary after all.
Asking Whether or Not to Comfort a Fearful Dog Sparks Debate
If you want to spark up a debate on any dog forum just ask the question “Should I be comforting a fearful dog?”
There’s no shortage of opinions on the matter, and they that range from “of course” to “no way, that just makes it worse.”
One of the difficulties in answering the question is the question itself. Each of us imagines a different scenario when we picture our dogs being fearful, and each of us comforts our dogs in a different way. There’s so many variables in the question itself, there really isn’t a simple way to answer it.
The short answer is yes, you can comfort a fearful dog without reinforcing their fear. Does that mean it’s going to solve the problem immediately and alleviate your dogs fear? No, and sometimes there’s going to be a better option than just providing comfort. When it comes to fear you need to be mindful of what would benefit your dog most in any given situation.
Not such a simple question to answer, is it?
Since I often see the same arguments on both sides regarding reinforcing a dogs fear I’d like to take a moment to clarify some of the confusion. Here’s 3 common misconceptions that surround the question of whether or not you should comfort a fearful dog.
We Each Define Comfort Differently
So you asked a simple question on a dog forum: “should I be comforting my fearful dog during a thunderstorm?”
You get a ton of answers from both sides, and you’re probably feeling more confused and discouraged than you were to begin with. I mean it’s a simple question after all, yet everyone answers it differently.
The first problem with the question of comforting a fearful dog is the fact that we’re not all on the same page when it comes to how we define comfort to begin with.
Some think of petting as providing comfort, some think of using distraction techniques as comfort, and others imagine scooping your dog up like a baby and whispering “it’s all going to be OK” as comfort.
Technically no one is wrong — each of those things may provide some level of comfort to your dog during something scary. But the real issue to keep in mind is knowing what would comfort your dog in that situation. Will a massage be enough to comfort your dog during that storm, will playing music be enough, or do you need to use a distraction technique such as using food?
The best way to address whether or not you should comfort your dog during X event is to think about what would help them out in the long run. Is this a one time situation that probably won’t come up again? (such as an unknown dog charging towards you on a walk) If that’s the case sometimes the best way to provide comfort is to remove yourself from the situation.
If it’s a scary situation that will come up again, such as fireworks or thunderstorms, you should be thinking of ways to help make your dog comfortable with it in the long run. If it’s thunderstorms try giving your a treat when you hear the boom of thunder. Eventually they will start to associate it as not being such a bad thing. That sort of comfort won’t reinforce your dog’s fears — if anything it will make them easier to manage. By making your dog more comfortable in a scary situation you’re helping them see that it’s not the worst thing in the world after all.
Managing fear isn’t simple, and a stranger on the internet isn’t likely to provide you with the best answer when it comes to your dog. It’s about knowing your dog and what they find comforting, and knowing how to keep them from going over threshold and panicking.
The way I’d comfort a dog whose nervous around strangers is a lot different than the way I’d comfort a dog panicking during fireworks. Levels of fear vary, and so do the levels of comfort we provide.